Thursday, January 3, 2019

Plant Caring - How to Communicate With Different Plants

Plant Caring Article that How to Communicate With Different Plants

The experience of plants to be in the world is very different from the experience of our animals. Because plants can not move, they exist in a state of deep acceptance and peace in themselves. Emotions such as fear, hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, etc. are completely unknown to plants and would not serve any useful purpose. On the other hand, plants are able to experience a wide range of higher emotions, as we could hardly imagine.

Plant Caring - How to Communicate With Different Plants
Plant Caring - How to Communicate With Different Plants
At the same time there are feelings that plants share with our animals, such as love, pain, joy, thirst, etc. It is the feelings that we share with plants that form the basis for our ability to communicate with them.

Feeling with plants is not so much different from feeling with people. For example, when we have sex with someone who really engages us, we feel a tangible wave of sexual energy that connects us to that person. In the same way, we feel connected to that person through a perceptible wave of anger and fear as we enter a room to look at someone who is crazier than hell. When a baby smiles at us, we feel a zipper of joy that automatically makes us smile back. However, most of our interactions with other people do not have this sense of belonging and emotional directness. Usually we do not even look at the people we talk to, let alone that we sympathize with them. Because of our social training, we tend to view sharing feelings with other people as threatening. We learn to close and defend ourselves, and to keep our interactions as sterile as possible.




In order to be able to communicate with plants (or people), you must be able to regard them as your equals. If you are afraid (ashamed) to talk to homeless people, beggars, crazy people, etc. then you will also find it difficult to talk to plants. However, it is easier to communicate with plants than to communicate with people because plants do not have defense and self-esteem agendas that contain our own defense and ownership interest agendas. Feeling with plants (or people) does not mean that they have to gush all over them; all it means is to recognize them as beings whose feelings are as important to them as your feelings to you.

When you first learn to communicate with plants, it helps to be in daily contact with the same individual plants. Ideally, you should go out at least a few minutes every day, preferably alone, to the same tree or meadow. If you can not do this, growing garden or house plants will work just as well, although it is easiest to communicate with large trees. This is because from a feeling (light fiber) point of view, people and trees are very similar - the light fiber (auric glow) configurations of both people and trees are quite similar, while that of insects, for example, is very different from both. It is easier for people and trees to communicate with each other than to communicate with insects.

Now even the least paranormal person going to a big tree could pick up something of the personality (state of mind) of that tree. How does the tree feel - happy, sad, loving, happy, heavy? Can you pick up his gender: feel a male or female presence - or the age of it: young and powerful or old and soft?

This is not so difficult to do - you can call your senses to support your feelings, like seeing pictures in the clouds, except that you do it by feeling instead of thinking - by relaxing in the process instead of arranging. It is exactly what a rationalistic materialist ("scientist") would call "anthropomorphism."

Prickly trees (such as palm trees and Joshua trees) have, for example, a brutal, masculine energy. Cedar trees are usually clowns or wise guys. Banana trees are cheerful and loving. Crying trees really have a sad look about them. Tall, upright trees have proud and regal personalities. Trees that seem to reach the sky longingly reach out to the sky.

A good time to learn how to make emotional contact with trees is when they die. The next time you see a tree being felled, pause and calm your thoughts and look attentively. You could easily feel the pain of the tree just before it falls, because trees (and all beings) are full of power at the moment of their death and deeply affect the beings around them. Lumberjacks shout triumphantly "Wood!" When a tree falls to bridge their sense of shame and rupture - to block communication with the tree at the time of his death.



Another good time to pick up the feelings of plants is when they are moving. Plants are happiest when they are in motion - blown by the wind and the rain. Whisk back to them when they wave at you (it is only polite). Watch how they dance in the wind. See how the trees that hang over paths and footpaths offer blessings for everyone who passes by them. See how the young growth tips are more vigilant, more powerful, and naively more turbulent than the older and softer lower leaves. Be aware of the consciousness of plants: when you walk through a forest or pasture, you feel that you are walking through a crowd of people who are all looking at you.

Some people absorb the feelings of plants by seeing faces in the bark or leaves. They lay that thought-form (of a face with a laughing, stiff, saucy, etc.) on the feeling of the tree, because so most people are conditioned to interpret feelings - by associating them with facial expressions.

What we strive for are feelings that can be held immediately, without the need for sensory indications. The senses, however, can be a useful point of reference and act as a bridge between imagination and pure feeling, that is how they function in dreams. If you look at your feelings instead of your mind, your visual attention is not focused on anything, but everything that falls into your field of vision, you stand out with the same impact (liveliness), as in dreams. To see in this way, you must keep your mind still and you must be in a joyful and desolated mood. If you are busy or grumpy, you can no longer see what plants feel, then you see a baby smiling at you.

Much of our social training involves learning to stifle our senses - not seeing what's right for our eyes, not listening to what our ears hear, being offended by smells, disturbed by touch. By cutting off our senses, we feel apathetic and separate from our world. Therefore, if we renew our sense of belonging that we had wanted as babies, we must put our senses back into our feelings. And because they are not so threatening, feeling with plants is a good place to start.

Not only do different types of plants have different feelings associated with them, but there is also a considerable individual variation in personalities between different plants of the same species, between different type of branches on the same plant and even between different leaves on the same branch. By keeping a leaf slightly between your thumb and forefinger, you can feel which leaves want to be picked for medicine or nutritional purposes and which ones want to be left alone. The leaves that want to be picked have a high, lively appearance, while leaves that do not want to be picked feel dead in your hand.



Even if you can not tune in to the feelings of plants, you can still "talk" to them telepathically. Plants can talk to you in your mind and they do not seem to be distinguishing (from the beginning) from your own thoughts. That is to say, it will seem to you that you are the one who thinks these thoughts, when in fact they are the plants that send you messages. That is why it is important to keep your own mind as quiet as possible - to be in a relaxed atmosphere - if you expect plants to talk to you; if your own mind buzzes, it is impossible that the plants get a word in it. All thoughts or feelings that you have while sitting under a tree or working with plants are probably messages from the plants.

So how do you know if you actually communicate with a plant and not just that you imagine it? The answer is: you do not. You just go with your intuition instead of going with your concepts, what you have been taught. Instead of hypnotizing yourself to believe that the world of concepts is real, you hypnotize yourself to believe that the world of feelings - of magic - is reality. The only difference between these two equally valid points of view is that one of them talks to you, and the others do not.

If you feel like you are talking to plants, do not forget that what you are programmed to call the 'real' world is just a fabrication of your imagination. And if you start to call something else the real world, it becomes something else the real world; it becomes as real as this.

If you are in doubt, always ask the plant: "Do you, Mr. or Mrs. Plant speak to me, or do I just imagine it?" And if you always get the same answer, "It's me, the plant, it's me, the plant!" - Just assume that it is indeed the plant that talks to you and listen to what it has to say. You can ask questions and get answers, both questions and answers that come as if you have a conversation in your head.

It is easy to learn to talk with house and garden plants, because they especially like to discuss things such as fertilization, watering, shade, grafting and transplanting, etc. But in addition to such everyday matters, plants (especially large trees) can give you useful advice on all kinds of things. Take them your all types of  problems; Ask them what they think you should do. Some of my best friends and trusted advisors are trees.

Whether you are aware of it or not, you have been communicating with plants all the time. The soothing, healing, calming feeling that arises when you are gardening or outside in nature is actually your psychic attunement to the cheerful vibrations of the plants around you. To follow this feeling a step further - to the source - is to bring yourself into direct communication with the plants. It is as easy as smiling to a baby.

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Plant Caring - How to Communicate With Different Plants

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Some Importance Tips for a Good Traveler

Some Importance Tips for a Good Traveler 

It is very important, how we treat our world, our environment, the countries of other people and their cultures, and the people we meet along the way are all very important to us. We must be friendly, responsible, respectful and ethical. We must be vigilant when traveling through the world.

Some Importance Tips for a Good Traveler
Some Importance Tips for a Good Traveler 
Traveling and exploring the world full of different cultures, tongue, colors is a dream of many. Only a good traveler can experience these things, but who is a good traveler? Here I am going to give you some tips for a good traveler. You have to keep them in mind when you fly into someone else's culture.

Get information about the destination: before planning a trip to a place, you must inform yourself about everything related to the planned destination. So that you will not get any problems later.

Show curiosity: build curiosity in yourself while making a tour. Because it helps to explore more new things about the country. Keep coming up with 'why' and 'how' to let the other person talk freely.



Click on images: keep in mind that you are visiting a place for once, so you have to capture more and more memories of that place, culture, monuments, people, etc. But beware if you travel to a developing country, like theirs, you ask before clicking on images of children.

Appreciating: from taking hotel services to going out to explore, there may be a shortcoming in the services. Because no human being is perfect, mistakes occur. But still, appreciate them, the people, the culture and everything to make them feel warm.

Keep trying new things: what are you researching? It tries new things that are an integral part of travel. You have to try the adventurous journey, the food and everything else for once, because you may never get a chance to visit the place again.

So far we have discussed all the tips needed to be a good traveler. So make sure you remember these points while traveling. Because these tips can make you a good traveler. These tips to be a good traveler, allow you to discover more about the places you want to visit.

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Some Importance Tips for a Good Traveler 

How to Handle Some Responsibilities Come with Relationships

There are Few Responsibilities Importance with Relationships

Relationships | When you become involved in any relationship, that connection comes with a few responsibilities. In fact, there are many responsibilities in many connections. Problems occur when someone deals with another person with the intention that the interaction is all about them.

Responsibilities Come with Relationships
How to Handle Some Responsibilities Come with Relationships
For example, the guy who decides he wants to switch you off, while it really is his intention to reach a one-night stand. Or the girl who decides that she wants to be friends with you, only to realize what she really wanted, was to come close to the 'popular' group of friends you are dealing with. How offensive would it be to learn that you were used by someone you thought was a nice person? How does that change what you do in your next meeting with someone new?

When dealing with another person, there are some responsibilities that can come with that relationship:

Respect ~ The most important aspect of every relationship is respect for each other. Respectful in the way you talk, treat, engage and in some cases end a relationship. Whether it's doing business or personal, respect can always be present during the process. From a personal point of view, when you are dating, checking someone to determine if they are just a knowledge or a possible relationship, or if you are already in a relationship, you must be respectful. Even when there is a date that got out of hand and a one-night-only arises, there is still room for respect. Deciding not to call or make any attempt to avoid that person is simply not correct. Be mature enough to get up and show that person that they are worthy of your respect and expect the same.


Friendliness ~ As the old saying of Dorothy Parker says: "If you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all." Although many may not agree with this statement, you should ask yourself whether you are willing to say enough important to justify any bad feelings. Are you aggressive, combative, or will this person blame you for hurting their feelings?

Certainly, there is always a need for constructive criticism and debate in life, but in more situations than not, there are many of us who can hold our opinions or opinions for ourselves. Just ask yourself, can you walk away from this conversation, feel good about what you said ... and that good feeling comes from being right, helpful and friendly, or because you like a good fight.

Caring ~ When you mess with someone's feelings, you have the choice to show that you care or that you care less. Being able to show empathy or concern for someone else is what makes us human. When you decide that the feelings of another person are not important or meritorious, you make the choice to take the lower road.

Of course there will be times when someone does not deserve your kindness - a one-night stand, an insulting situation, a friend who has two faces - but there is still a choice to make about how you treat yourself. Regardless of someone else's actions, you still have the choice of how you want to tackle the situation. You can take the higher road and stand up for yourself in the process.

For example, you might say that you are sorry that you had to take legal action for a violent relationship, but it was the right thing to do and you hope they get the help they need. You can tell your friend that you did not appreciate how they treated you, but you are certain that they have to have some character problems to deal with and that you want them well. Sounds a bit stubborn, I know, but there is a way to say it, so that you stand up for yourself and at the same time wish them well.



Really ~ If you are always honest and sincere towards yourself and others, then you are sincere. Taking the time to figure out how to convey a less than positive message that needs to be said in a friendly and caring manner can still be achieved if you want to be sincere. No one likes to lie and even the smallest lies can be painful; not to mention, the fact that they may not trust you in the future.

Of course we can tell someone that it looks good when they are worried about their appearance, especially when we know they can not do much about it (baldness, unattractive, deformed), but that is no excuse for those little lies that be painful. and inappropriate. If you know someone who constantly tells you one thing and does another, or you know they give you a rule because you know the truth, then you know what I'm talking about. There is a small difference between being polite and being correct and people know the difference. The most true test of a person's character begins with being a real person.

Rating ~ Showing your appreciation to someone who treats you well is very easy to manage. It is as simple as remembering to say 'thank you', while giving back to that person ... so that you are not one of those people who always takes, but never gives.

The real test to be able to show appreciation is when you are dealing with someone who does not deserve to receive it. How does that work?

You might be grateful for the lesson you have learned. Perhaps you have learned something valuable from that situation that will change your life for the better. In case a one-nighter takes the time to apologize and admit that they were wrong, you could tell them that you are grateful that they have taken the time to tell you the truth about what all is really going on. hand was. On the other hand, there can be absolutely nothing to be appreciative or grateful in your specific situation. It is quite possible that you were treated so badly by this person that no apology justifies your appreciation.

Even if you can not find anything to be thankful for, there are only a few reasons not to be respectful, friendly, caring and sincere ... even if they do not deserve it. It is easy to take the road to pay someone back for their bad intentions, but it requires a person with real character and self-awareness to look beyond those actions, to be proud of integrity and to find the higher ground of goodwill. Be that person.

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How to Handle Some Responsibilities Come with Relationships

6 Amazing Tips for Creating New Habits and Changing Bad Habits

You Can Create Good New Habits and Change Bad Habits

Sometimes you may want to start a new good habit and it is difficult to do. You want to get out of bed earlier to play sports, you want to iron your clothes while watching television, you want to do homework for your class instead of watching a movie, you want to eat more fruit and vegetables.

6 Amazing Tips for Creating New Habits and Changing Bad Habits
6 Amazing Tips for Creating New Habits and Changing Bad Habits
You have good intentions, but your body just does not do what you want. You have a vision about where you want to go and what you want to do, but doing it is not easy.

On the other hand, all bad habits began innocently enough. They started as things that you have learned or enjoyed doing. Then, in the course of time, as you practiced the practice over and over again, it seemed like they were a natural way to behave.

But these bad habits are not natural. You were not born with them. You have developed them in the course of time and you can replace them with new habits. Here are some awesome tips for getting rid of a bad habit.



Create or Change One Habit at a Time

When you want to create a good habit or change a bad habit, do not try to work more than one at a time. Spend all your time and energy working on that one habit first. Once it is automatic, you can concentrate on creating or changing another habit. You may want to begin with a smaller habit first, and once you have mastered it, you can move on to another habit that is more difficult for you.

Know exactly where you are going and how you can get there

Write down your goals and a start date. Notice step by step what you are going to do and how you are going to do it. Make a list of how you will reward yourself for your small wins. Write down what your temptations are to not use a habit you want to create or continue with a bad habit that you want to break and how you will deal with it.

Identify all the obstacles to creating the new habit or changing the bad and exactly what you will do to overcome these obstacles. For example, if you tend to eat too much when you're in a restaurant, how do you deal with it? Will you order less food? Ordering replacements? Ask to put half of the food in a doggy bag before you are served? Write down the strategies you use to ensure that you do not fall back.

Identify all old triggers so you have not created a new habit or you have a bad habit. For example, you can eat junk food if you are stressed from the day at work, when you sit down to watch television or when you have company. Or with a new habit, when your alarm clock goes off in the morning to get you started for training, press the snooze button and roll back to sleep again. Then there is no time for you to exercise before you leave for work.

Then create new triggers for your new behavior. You will eat nutritious food as soon as you return from work. Sunday afternoon for playing games with your family is the time you have reserved to cook healthy food that you can bring to work all week.

Do the same all thing every day or every week. These are your new triggers. Put them in your written plan and be very consistent with them. When these triggers happen, do the habit immediately every time.


Share with others

Tell your dedication to create a new habit or remove a bad habit for your family, friends, colleagues and a related group online and in person. The more people, the better. Make your dedication real for yourself and everyone you know. Make a solemn promise that you will do it.

Ask for their support and ask them to help you when you reach a difficult place. Promise them to text them, call them or contact them online as soon as there is a problem. Put this in your written plan. Keep all these people informed of your progress to be accountable to you.

Communicate with yourself

Remind yourself often of your involvement. Place plates on your desk, fridge and mirror.

Keep a log of everything that is relevant to implement your change every day. Write down what happens every day, what your feelings are and how you will continue to create the new habit or change this bad habit. A log keeps you consistent and helps to make you aware of what you actually do. It helps you stay motivated, especially if you can see your progress every day.

Stay focused on improving

Read more about strategies to be successful, tools with which you can make the changes and overcome possible obstacles. Read the success stories of others to motivate yourself.

Keep your focus on the new habit you want to have or eliminate the bad habit until you no longer need to think about it because you live your new lifestyle. You must be absolutely consistent in your new behavior, thoughts and words until the good habit is common in your daily life or your bad habit is forever past.

Deal positive with relapse

If you fall back, do not give up. Find out what happened, what thoughts went through your mind and what you will do differently next time or think differently. From that moment on, then act consistently to create the new habit. Learn from your failure so that your failure becomes a positive thing that helps you succeed.

Exercise

Write down one thing that you dream of changing in your life. Then record 3 things that keep you from achieving this dream. Can these obstacles be overcome? Write down exactly how you will solve them. If not, how can you adjust your dream so that at least part of it can be achieved?

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6 Amazing Tips for Creating New Habits and Changing Bad Habits

Awesome Tips to Improve Your Relationship Management Skills

5 Awesome Tips to Improve Your Relationship Management Skills

Relationship management becomes more important as you take on more professional responsibility. You need skills to build bonds, to inspire others, to influence and to develop. In the meantime, you must be open to change, manage conflicts and set up teamwork.

Relationship Management Skills
Awesome Tips to Improve Your Relationship Management Skills
Author of emotional intelligence Daniel Goleman believes that it is possible to build better relationships step by step. This is achieved by focusing on six competencies in the domain Relationship Management of Emotional Intelligence:

1. Inspire
2. influence
3. Develop
4. Start change
5. Managing conflicts
6. Create teams and collaboration

Let's look at some ideas about how to be successful in each of these domains.

1. Inspiration often starts with a time of silent reflection about gnawing questions. While examining feelings that include fear, confusion, and passion, a vision often becomes clear that helps to understand the larger goal or larger mission. For inspiration to really happen, the vision must be set out in a compelling style. In this way, others will hopefully 'pack' the ideas and plan. Individuals who inspire others:

• Use the collective wisdom of others
• Involve others in looking at reality and the ideal vision
• Being able to make contact with the emotional centers of people and also intellectually.

2. Influence is one of the three basic ingredients of a democratic leader. Teamwork and conflict management are the two other ingredients and will be discussed later. Influence also requires effective dealing with the emotions of others. Maybe you were in situations where you influenced someone's mood, or he / she influenced your mood. Individuals with a high degree of influence:

• Skillfully win people by listening, networking with them, etc.
• Tune in what they are going to say to address the listener
• Use knowingly a variety of strategies to create consensus and support.


3. Developing others is a skill required by managers who guide others and who are responsible for the growth of employees in their department or division. Persons with a high level in developing others:

• Recognize and reward the strengths and achievements of people
• Provide useful feedback and accurately target the needs for further growth
• Mentor, coach and offer tasks that challenge and promote the skills of a person.

4. Initiation of change or changing of catalyst requires consistent modeling of the behavior you want to see in others. You start by questioning the emotional reality and cultural norms that underlie daily activities and behaviors. How others think about the change process should be considered. Persons who can easily initiate changes:

• Recognize the need for change
• Challenge the status quo
• Make convincing arguments for change
• Look for practical ways to overcome obstacles to change.

5. Managing conflict requires understanding different perspectives and finding a common solution that everyone can endorse. It requires good listening skills and self-control. Persons with good conflict management skills:

• Handle difficult and tense situations with care
• Find potential conflicts and help de-escalate the situation
• Encourage open discussion
• Work for win-win solutions.

6. Teamwork and cooperation model respect, helpfulness and cooperation.
Both work and home are happier when these conditions are met ever. When teams work well, turnover and absenteeism decrease and productivity increases. Individuals with strong teamwork and collaboration skills:

• Sign all members in active participation
• Build a team identity and involvement
• Protect the group and share the credit.

It is now known that emotions are contagious. In addition, any encounter with another person can take place anywhere on a continuum, from emotionally toxic to nourishing.

In summary, to improve your relationship management skills, you want people to be able to turn towards you instead of away or against you. To have good relationship management skills, you need to use the following these 5 tips:

1. Develop open, honest, trusting relationships.
2. Have self-respect and show respect for others, especially if you are responsible for their development.
3. To have good communication skills, including listening, assertiveness and conflict management
4. Understand what a change process entails, and be prepared to guide people through it.
5. Be a good team member and encourage cooperation.

By being an effective manager, you not only look good, but improve also the skills of those who guide you and ensure that they look good. That is a "win-win" for everyone.

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Awesome Tips to Improve Your Relationship Management Skills

How You Can Win Your Battle With Weight Loss!

Awesome Tips About How You Can Win Your Battle With Weight Loss!

Weight Loss | There are a lot of reasons why people struggle with weight control, many of which are unconscious. This article explains that it is not just about food! Without recognizing and understanding your opponent, your battle will continue to yield more of the same results. I will help you identify what you are dealing with; as well as a number of reasons that stop you. Tools to release obstacles that are in your way are given. You are more encouraged to give yourself that inner permission to succeed.

Weight Loss
How You Can Win Your Battle With Weight Loss
Let's take a good look at a struggle that occurs time and time again in our lives - lose weight. Think of the many industries that deal with weight loss, such as diets, weight loss supplements, training programs, health clubs etc. Etc. Those industries are mostly successful and continue to expand because they promise people that they will lose weight when we buy and use their products. People sometimes lose the five, ten or fifty pounds only to get it back often to lose it again and again. So what really happens here?

To give you an example: a client arrives for psychotherapy to ask for help to lose weight or to manage and manage the "yo-yo syndrome" of losses. The client is often well informed about nutrition, the latest headlines of the diet and is busy following a prescribed way to adapt to a program with which he or she had problems. The deep fears / problems around the real reasons that weight control is so difficult have not been tackled and what is presented is really a smokescreen for deeper problems, consciously or unconsciously, that run the show.



Weight Loss | What I have seen in my practice is that people spend an enormous amount of energy on self-control, self-will and perseverance. It can be superficial, but it is only a short-term solution. Although our culture seems to appreciate the will power or the 'bony' approach, it does not help to break an ingrained habit that it is not effective. Neither is a quick solution, although our culture seems to expect this.

What becomes clear is that we overestimate the powers of the conscious mind and we underestimate the power of the unconscious mind. None of us are happy to hear that our will is not enough to solve the problems and that there are always unconscious factors at work.

We eat for a number of basic reasons that have nothing to do with hunger. What is behind our emotional food? Simply put, emotional eating serves a multitude of goals. Examples are:

Food distracts us from many painful emotions such as sadness, grief, loneliness, shame, helplessness, anger, fear, etc.

Food increases our blood sugar levels, so that many of our emotions, such as depression and anxiety, are at least temporarily temporarily numb.

Certain foods increase the endorphin levels that are similar to the reaction of a medicine and improve mood thinking, such as chocolate or other comfort food. Overloaded people often use food to spread their stress rather than more effective techniques for stress reduction. Food works as a quick solution in the moment to attach itself accumulatively to our hips, bellies and later to add to our stress load. Some foods are associated with 'the good times'.

Weight Loss | There are people who believe that if they carry more weight they are safer in the world, stronger and healthier. Clients told me that they associate weight loss with fragility and dying.

Some people fear the full expression of their sexuality and use the weight to prevent them from facing their fears.

The above examples are small compared to the many ways in which the unconscious can interfere with conscious goals. What to do?

Take some time, relax, go inside and think. What is your storyline that makes you stick around weight problems? What purpose is your preoccupation with weight, diets and nutrition? How do you keep it safe? What does it keep you from doing in your early life? What consequences do you fear? There are always consequences when we change, some good, others do not. Family members may want us to stay as we are, because if we change, they can become anxious. They can even use the ante. Every time I went on a diet, my ex-husband showed up with chocolates.

Weight Loss | One of the first things I do when someone comes to me about weight struggle is to figure out the real culprit. With their permission after a full assessment, clinical hypnosis can be in order. Hypnosis helps me to unconsciously gain access to the client to determine if there is an inner agreement to do the job. If there are other problems, they may need to be addressed first to prevent tampering. Often it only becomes clear which barriers are in the way. Make an appointment for change and go to work. Get to know yourself on a deep level. If you are having problems getting there, you must get professional help. You are worthy of success.

There will be missteps, forgive yourself and start again. Blessings.

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How You Can Win Your Battle With Weight Loss

Relationship Advice for People Whose are in Relation Fixer-Upper

Relationship Advice: Are You in a Relationship "Fixer-Upper"? So This Article is for You

Relationship Advice | Are you inclined to see your partner as a 'fixer-upper' type of man or woman? Of course, you love him or her, but there are certain aspects of your partner that need to be improved or improved for you. Perhaps you spend your time subtly (or more openly) working to help your partner become more organized, cultivated, refined, in shape, and so on. Maybe your love appreciates your recovery efforts and maybe he or she feels bad or feels bad about your improvement efforts.

Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice for People Whose are in Relation Fixer-Upper
On the other hand, you might be the one to whom the "fix-up" is directed. You may have ended up in the role of someone who in one way or another fails in your relationship. Honestly, you may feel most comfortable in this role. Although you are aware of your partner's efforts to make changes or "improvements" in who you are, you actually want to stay the same.



The dangerous dynamics in scenarios such as this is that one person suppresses the change and his or her partner in some way feels inadequate. The other person feels pushed and judged as inappropriate or missing and closes himself off for new experiences or changes that he or she might otherwise have been open to. The relationship is a 'fixer-upper', not because it is inherently defective, or even because the person who wants change, ultimately gets the blame.

Instead, this kind of relationship is dangerous because, for whatever reason, the two people involved continue to take each other off and separate from each other. The proximity and connection is tense while they play this dance of lack.

The relationship fixer "fixer upper" was the focus of a recent sitcom storyline. On the TV program 'Gary Unmarried' starts the main character - Gary-- with an attractive woman who teaches at the school of his children. Gary and the teacher go on different dates and really feel attracted to each other. What Gary is beginning to feel, however, is that his new partner treats him as a "fixer-upper".

Gary's friend encourages him to go to the opera, ballet and lover of coffee houses - none of these places are normal. When Gary began to feel that his girlfriend was trying to improve and change him, he immediately quit, felt hateful, and was even manipulated. Gary's girlfriend claimed that she was only trying to expose him to new things, not trying to change him.

Needless to say, both Gary and his girlfriend were hurt and misunderstood. Both had to step back and really examine their motives, intentions and desires.

Recognize your tendencies ....
In this situation you could identify yourself the fastest with Gary or with his girlfriend. After all, one can see the benefits of both perspectives. As you get to know someone in a romantic relationship, it can be enriching to experience new things and learn from each other. But it is also a great feeling to know that your partner fell in love with you because of who you are - not because of who they want you to be.

Handle yourself carefully, watch your tendencies. Perhaps you are sometimes the one who tries to change or improve your partner and sometimes you do not feel enough and you are not appreciated for who you are now. Anyway, just get a clearer picture of the role you play most often in your relationship.


Are your tendencies at the service of you, your partner or your relationship?
Ask yourself now whether the way you usually think and treat your partner, you, him or her and your relationship serves? Does the "recovery" approach ensure that you two get closer together or further apart? How does it feel when you stop your partner's suggestions to try something new?

Again, be careful with yourself and approach this in an observational way. You can ask your love what it feels like for him or her when you behave in a "recovery" or some kind of closed way - depending on your tendencies. Just listen and try to learn from what you hear. Compare the way you think about your current tendencies with how you want to feel in this relationship.

Step outside your usual mode.

So you know what your tendencies are and you have a clearer picture of how they feel for you and possibly the emotions caused by your partner. It is time to step outside your normal mode. You could create a list of ways you could act or respond differently. Just try some alternatives to your status quo and see how it feels. What do you notice in terms of your partner's response? Do you feel as a result closer or further away from your love? Pay attention and do more of what increases your connection.

At the end of this episode "Gary Unmarried" Gary finally sees that his partner did not necessarily try to manipulate him or to assess him as inadequate. He goes to her and apologizes. He even agrees to attend a ballet with her that weekend. Gary's friend makes less for her and pushes less. She is willing to participate in activities that Gary likes.

When you choose to try another action or reaction, you can create space for a new and extended connection. Contact yourself and your partner to see how you both feel. This will also help you get closer together.

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Relationship Advice for People Whose are in Relation Fixer-Upper