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Monday, September 10, 2018

The Marriage | Marriage Life | Marriage Success or Fail Reason

The Marriage | Marriage Life | Marriage Success or Fail Reason

The-Marriage, Marriage-Life, Marriage-Success-or-Fail-Reason


Marriage is the process whereby two people make their relationship public, official and permanent. It is the merging of two people in a band that presumably goes to death, but in practice is getting shorter and shorter due to divorce. In the course of a relationship that can last no less than seven or eight decades, much happens. Personalities change, bodies age and romantic love is reduced. And no marriage is free of conflict. What allows a couple to endure is how they deal with that conflict. So how do you deal with the problems that inevitably arise? And how can you keep the spark alive?


There are few people who really know what they are about when it comes to getting married. We all have an idea of ​​what the wedding is all about. We have expectations, dreams and expectations about what it will look like. We watch films, TV shows and even hold marriages in the world around us to catch a glimpse of this thing that we call sacred marriage. But we only really know when we are there, right?


There are a few things about marriage that I understood I went into, but there are so many things that I never fully imagined. To this day there is so much that I am learning. I write about this concept in my new book, True Love Dates-specifically with regard to things that marriage can not do. But marriage can also do a lot. Here are 10 things I learned about it.

10 secrets you need to know about the wedding

1. THE MARRIAGE IS MORE INTIMAL THAN SEX

Often one of the first things that single people think of when it comes to marriage is sex. But although there is so much value and closeness within the sexual relationship, a good marriage is what makes for good sex, not the other way around.
Before marriage, I do not think I have understood the real intimacy associated with being bound to this person for the rest of my life. Marriage is a great opportunity to let someone else look into your life, your mind, your heart and your soul. That is real intimacy.


2. MARRIAGE DISCLOSES SELFISHABILITY, BUT CAN CULTURE INDEPENDENCE ALSO

I did not know how selfish I was until I was in my marriage for about six months (probably more than six hours, but I am generous). From the stupid moments of choosing where to eat and who gets the remote control, to the more important things such as apologizing and putting the needs of your partner for your own needs - you learn that real unselfishness is something that needs to be lived. It is a difficult lesson, but also a beautiful memory of a God who unselfishly gave everything for me.


3. UNITY LITERALLY MEANS ONE

We all think of the deep spiritual and physical benefits of unity, but we do not always consider the uncomfortable parts of it. A house. A bed. A bathroom. One mirror above the sink in the bathroom. A bank account. A budget.

In marriage you learn to let go of the 'mine and yours' mentality, because everything is really 'ours'. There is something very difficult, but something very beautiful about that. It is a reminder that at the end of the day what is mine is yours ... but everything we have is in fact His.


4. AT ANY POINT YOU WILL DISAPPOINT

This was a harsh reality. I am fully aware of the humanity of my and my husband, but for some reason this truth only really comes home when the disappointment comes home.

My husband and I loved each other very much, but we also hurt each other deeply. When you allow someone to bury his heart in yours, there is no doubt that one day you will feel a pain. Whether it is in the form of an unfriendly word, a thoughtless action or a selfish moment, the marriage hurts. But through God's grace every wound clears the way for grace, forgiveness and restoration. Every wound reminds us that we need to love better and deeper.


5. LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU WILL LEARN THE MEANING OF FORGIVENESS

With the certainty of being hurt, the reality comes that you have to learn forgiveness. The biggest lesson is that true forgiveness does not come because the person who stands before you deserves it. No, it comes from a heart that understands how much we have been forgiven, even though we do not deserve it either.



6. THE MARRIAGE WILL COST YOU

The truth is that you lose a part of yourself in the glory of marriage. You exchange a bit of who you are for a little bit who your partner is. You learn to give and take. You learn to let go of things that do not really matter. And eventually you realize that what you have given is much less than what you have finally received. Love is so good.


7. LOVE IS NOT A FEELING, IT IS A SERIES OF DECISIONS

Before marriage you can not understand the strong feelings that are nowhere else than higher. One day you realize that feelings can not really be trusted, because on some days you feel that you may not even agree with each other. Feelings come, but feelings also go. They are a compass and sometimes a guide, but they must never be followed.

The test of real love is what you do when you do not feel like loving. Marriage is constantly choosing to love, give and serve because of the dedication you have shown. It is choosing the other instead of choosing yourself. That is the definition of love in its most true form.


8. MARRIAGE WILL REQUIRE YOU TO LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE

Whatever your communication is, the marriage requires that you look carefully at your opinions, beliefs, ideas, and feelings and share them with another. It will ensure that you answer the difficult questions and speak the difficult truths. Communication is the lifeline between two people. There is no possibility around it. It will ensure that you take responsibility not only for what you say, but also how you say it: tone, body language, sarcasm and such.


9. MARRIAGE IS NOT THE END OF YOUR DESTINATION.

Before you get married, it is easy to see the wedding as the grand finale. It is the thing we dream of and what we live for. And then it finally comes! What now?

This relationship that God has blessed you with is a fraction of the grand plan that He has for your life. Your goal and passions go far beyond the reach of your relationship with your partner. And God will use the relationship that He has given you, because the love between you and your partner is reflected in the world. Marriage is not the end, it is only the beginning. God has so much more in his hands.


10. THE MARRIAGE GIVES YOU A GLIMPSE OF MUCH MORE

In the same tone you learn a lot about God when you rub against someone day in and day out. There is a reason why God uses the analogy of marriage to describe his love for his church. No relationship will ever be comparable to the intimacy that is exchanged within this earthly relationship. God's love for us increases through the lens of a healthy marriage, but He also uses this marriage to shape, refine and guide us through the fire, making us more and more like Him on the road. Reflecting on Jesus is the greatest honor we can have when it comes to marriage, but even more, it is the only thing that keeps our marriage alive.

There are many routes to holiness, and marriage is definitely one of those routes. I am a different person because of this holy relationship, and I know that God is not finished with me yet. I am so grateful for the blessing of marriage and look forward to what lies ahead.


Planning

Calming pre-wedding jitters

Are you getting married and do you have cold feet?

Pre-wedding "jitters" are completely normal. Try to distinguish between being stressed about the wedding, about marrying in general and having real questions about this specific relationship. In other words, is this "normal" anxiety sensitivity before marriage, or do you have real concerns about your intended partner?

Planning a wedding is difficult. Trying to please parents, future in-laws, yourself and your fiancé may seem like an impossible task. Most people have no experience in planning such large and important celebrations. And because this is such an important day, you undoubtedly want everything to be perfect. No wonder you are afraid!

Signs of pre-wedding jitters and what you can do about it:

1. Having problems with food - We often feel that we have "butterflies" in our stomach when we are anxious and have no appetite. It is important to eat for strength and energy. Even nibbling with crackers with proteins, such as peanut butter, is a huge help.

2. Problems with sleep - Fear involves racist thoughts, which are generally exaggerated when your environment is calm, such as when you are trying to fall asleep. There are many free apps to download for sleep. Try one that focuses on relaxation or meditation, instead of one with only soothing music. Alternatively, try deep breathing when you are in bed and concentrate on relaxing the muscles in your body.

3. Having Concentration Problems - If you have a lot of things in your head, you tend to concentrate on one thing at a time. If you notice that this is happening to you, try to focus on the task in question for a short period. If you get distracting thoughts, write them up to think after the task is completed.

4. Getting awkward - If you have difficulty concentrating, it can lead to awkwardness. Try to focus on what you are doing right now, walk through what you are trying to do and throw away all distracting thoughts.

5. Be irritating or short-sighted - Recognize that this is the result of anxiety, and breathe deeply once or twice before you respond and / or speak. Try to talk slowly; this will help calm your body.

6. Feeling "on the edge" - Try deep breathing (yoga breathing), meditation or yoga. Move your body: take a walk, take a walk, exercise.

7. Preoccupation with details about the wedding itself - Make a checklist that you take over with your fiancée or someone who can help. Ideally, you can pass this on to a trusted friend or family member so that it is out of your way. If you are concerned about things that go wrong during the affair, delegate the responsibilities to trust others. For example:

• If you are concerned about a specific person who drinks too much or misbehaves, someone must take the lead on guarding that person.

• Are you afraid that the day will not go as planned? Will people have fun? Will everyone behave? Will the two families get along with each other? Do you want to be OK in the spotlight? Will the band appear? If this is your concern, set up a checklist to discuss more than a week or two before the wedding so that you have checked all the things you can check. Once that has happened, the only task you have is to enjoy your wedding!

Calming the jitters:

1. Spend time with your fiancé when you do not talk about the wedding. Go to your favorite restaurant, go for a bike ride, dine with friends or spend a romantic weekend with a treat.

2. Talk to friends who have recently married and find out what they have done to calm their jitters. Talking to family members and friends about your concerns can help you feel reassured.

3. Give one night per week where you and your fiancée and / or you and your friends do not talk about the wedding. You take a night off from wedding discussions.

4. Look at old photos of happy memories that you have shared together to reorient yourself to the good rather than the scary.

5. If you have specific concerns about what it will be like to get married, talk to your fiancé and think of a plan to address them.

6. Talk to your fiancé about your fear or jitters. Wants to help and support each other. Ask what you need from them.

7. Exercise is the best way to get rid of the extra tension that builds up in your body. Go to the gym, take a walk or bike ride.

8. Practice some relaxation techniques. There are many YouTube videos and apps that go through deep muscle relaxation.

9. Do not hold your feelings. Talk to friends and family.

10. If you have real concerns, such as having or not having children, how you raise them, religion, alcohol and drug abuse, etc., then talk to a couple's therapist before the wedding.

11. If it feels like the fear is getting worse, talk to a therapist, your rabbi or your priest.

Some of the best and most memorable weddings are those who did not go exactly according to plan. It is not a sign that the marriage will fail; it's just life. Laugh at it, brush it and enjoy your day!


How Depression can harm a marriage

A melancholy mood changes how partners perceive themselves and each other.

Logan was a PhD student who studied old Italian poetry. His life was filled with planks of old books and a teaching job where he had to inspire lethargic freshmen. His doctoral adviser was difficult and inconsistent, and Logan was a pioneer who worried his adviser and students were always mad at him. He came to see me at the request of his wife, Yuko, who started to panic about his change in personality. "He was cheerful, funny and interested in his work," she said. "Now he is a zombie, he undergoes the movements and does not talk to me or to anyone else, he comes home and goes to bed and then shuffles away in the morning, even if he is standing in front of the computer or with a book. not interested in. He has paid attention to me in no time. "

When we first met, Logan sat bent on his chair as if trying to disappear. His voice was small and weak, and he mentioned so many things that overwhelmed him that I could not keep them. Life squeezed into him and he made wailing sounds.

The Look of Depression
Logan was seriously depressed. Changes in sleeping and eating? To check. Loss of interest in activities he liked? To check. Feelings of guilt? Nonstop. And so on. He spoke in self-destructive terms: "I am stupid, why did I think I could do this? I am a disappointment to Yuko." And he described intense emotional pain and suicidal thoughts: "I will never finish it and my family will be better off without me. "It is clear that his pain killed both him and his marriage.


Depression and relationships
Depression removes the relationship with the victim. Many studies show how this happens. To begin with, depressed people often exude waves of negativity, which is difficult for a partner to deal with. They also make more bad choices when they are depressed, such as drunken driving or saying mean things. Non-depressed partners often worry or feel guilty about what is happening. One study that is determined when a person looks at his depressed partner's face causes a depressive reaction in his own brain. It is stressful to see another in pain, and this feeds a vicious circle. If Yuko were angry, this would trigger Logan's distorted observations. He saw her emotion as hostile even if it were not. He assumed she was angry because she hated him, while the reality was that she worried.

The cycle continues when the depressed partner is consumed by his pain and can not feel affection or can not help the other person. When someone is in need, they lose touch with their intuition and can not understand the expressions or body language of others. The pain takes all the focus. There is a proverb that says that a man with toothache can not be in love, and it is the same with emotional pain. A throbbing pain in the soul leaves little for anything else.

Logan showed many altered, depressed perceptions. He "knew" that his students thought he was a terrible teacher, while the reality was that most of them were tired and not in poetry. His melancholy mood strengthened his self-criticism and his words became irrational and hard.

Thankfully, therapy, better self-care and open communication with Yuko helped Logan's rebound. After his depression was lifted, he saw things more clearly, he was less inclined to extreme negativity, and his hope returned that he could succeed in his studies and his relationship. If you or someone you love is struggling, ask for help. A relationship can be a healing force and partners can work to find resources and feel better.


The surprising reasons why people stay in unhappy relationships

New research shows why people stay with their partner, even though they are unhappy.

Think of all the times that you have been unhappy in a close, committed relationship. Everything that led you to love this person leads you to distraction now. You complain to your good friends and relatives and think up all sorts of ways to come out as gracefully as possible. However, as the weeks and months pass, you stick it out and your plans to leave seem to become less definitive. Although you are not happier than when you first started thinking about leaving, there is simply something that stops you, but you are not sure what it is.

A new study by University of Utah's Samantha Joel and colleagues (2018) offers new insights into what keeps people in unfulfilled relationships. Joel et al. Start by questioning the usual assumptions that people make the decision to leave on the basis of what is in their own interests. You have already put a considerable amount of time and effort into the relationship, so leaving would be a waste of that investment would be such a self-oriented reason to stay. Another possible reason to stay rather than leave, might be that a stay is a less undesirable option to go back into the world of dating, or even just stay single. As the Utah psychologist and her co-authors remark, they are more focused on themselves than on other (partner) -directed decisions. What if people would take the stay / vacation on the basis of what is best for their partner?

When you stop and think about it, it was perhaps this altruistic motivation that you (or you) held in a less than glorious partnership. Joel and her fellow researchers take the position that people are "intrinsically motivated to take into account the needs of other people, even anonymous strangers" (p.1). If that is the case, then people should be even more inclined to avoid abandoning their partners. As the authors state, "decisions about the stay / leave are based on ... also on the perceived dependence on the partner of the relationship" (p.1). With reference to a large and impressive amount of literature on prosocial motivation (ie the wish to take into account the needs of others), Joel et al. Form a convincing argument for the 'inherent' existence of the desire to act benefit from others without thinking about personal rewards in return.

All this may seem overly optimistic, pie-in-the-sky, kind of reasoning. Consider, however, a situation in which you leave a stranger in line, or another rider who makes a turn for you on a busy road. When you go into such small acts of altruism, a small part of you feels better. You do not necessarily expect to be reimbursed for this mini-friendliness, because chances are that you will never see this other person again (unless you live in a very small town). Or consider the urge to help when someone spills their coffee or drops a phone. You almost instinctively extend your hand. If you were to act for strangers in this way, why not act unselfishly for the person you once loved? Such unselfish acts, according to Joel et al, are logical from the point of view of interdependency theory. This theory suggests that most people have the choice, in every interaction, to decide whether they want to maximize the results that benefit them. However, in order to maintain a close relationship, these self-directed profits are transformed into a broader set of considerations that include both the partner and the relationship itself. You may never make this transformation and only pay attention to your own needs, but in most relationships the interdependence theory suggests that you draw up rules that relate to the basic needs that people have for cooperation and altruism.

To test their proposals, Joel et al. Conducted two studies to see if they could identify the transformational processes over time in pairs with a romantic relationship. In the first study, which followed the evolution of relationships over a period of 10 weeks, 1281 online participants (average age of 26) provided data for the researchers to determine if perceptions of the partner's dependency on the relationship resulted in a lower number of divorces. predicted. At the beginning of the research period, the participants completed a set of questionnaires that tested the partner's involvement, the expected partner problems when breaking up, personal investments in the relationship (eg "I've done a lot"), the feeling appreciated by the partner, and the strength of the individual's desire to meet the needs of the partner. Over the next 10 weeks, the researchers evaluated the relational status of the participants, making it possible to investigate the predictive value of the initial measurements of the study. As predicted, this first study showed that for people with strong common values ​​and who considered their partners highly dependent, the chances of falling apart were indeed low.

The second study focused more directly on the final process in couples who thought about whether or not to leave their partners. Participants were approached via online sites (including Psychology Today) on the basis of whether they dared question their relationship. This procedure led to the impressive sample of 4106 potential participants who were subsequently screened for a final group of 500 people who completed all test phases. With an average age of 32 years they were on average about 3 years in a relationship (ranging from 1 week to 40 years). At the beginning of the investigation 442 were actively working on a break. With the same measures as in the first study, the authors again found that during the two plus months of the study, the chance that an individual would initiate a breakup was lower if the partner seemed to be very involved in the relationship and believed that staying in the relationship was in the interests of their partner. People who did not have strong common beliefs (i.e., appreciating the relationship about the self) were less inclined to consider their partner's feelings as reasons for remaining in the relationship.

This was a carefully controlled study with a strong theoretical background and well thought-out methods. As one of the first to document the prosocial nature of people's decisions instead of leaving a relationship, Joel et al. Have shown that you might find yourself in a less ideal situation or stayed with your partner. The findings do not address the question whether this is a sensible decision or not. As the authors conclude, "further research is needed to determine how beneficial versus harmful it is to stay in a relationship for the sake of the partner" (p.18). Moreover, the study did not address the question how long it takes too long to turn it off for the sake of the partner. What is the tipping point that causes you to stop things after you have done your best?

These additional questions will undoubtedly form the basis for future studies on the stay / leave decision. For the time being, however, the University of Utah study suggests that people in relationships do not just pay attention to themselves. Whether you are the one who leaves, or you are the one who is left, you can at least find comfort from the fact that relationships do not seem to have been designed to only focus on yourself. Indeed, knowing that the desire to watch out for your partner and for your partner to watch out for you is as strong as the current study suggests, this could help your relationships to give so much more satisfaction, both now and in the future.

6 Ways to Build Trust With Your Partner

Trust is one of the cornerstones of a great relationship.

Trust is one of the cornerstones of a great relationship. If you do not fully trust the one you love, you will never be comfortable. There are, however, many ways to strengthen or build trust. Here are some tips to help you on your way.


1. Maybe it's all in your head.

If you have been betrayed in the past, you can still carry a part of that old suspicion with you. If your partner is away for too long or does not answer his or her cell phone, this can cause some non-sequenced wounds. Talk to your other half and be honest about what you have experienced so that you two can work out something. If you have problems of trust from the past, you must address them.


2. Share your personal passwords with your partner.

You must have nothing to hide from the person with whom you share your life. (Note: This rule does not apply to passwords on professional accounts, for example if you are a doctor or a lawyer, while maintaining the confidentiality of the customer.) In general, it is a good idea to be transparent with your communication . It's all about building a level of comfort for and with the person you love.


3. Always answer honestly.

When my wife asks me who to text or talk to, I always respond, but sometimes I say "a customer" and it stops there. I do not store any other chat programs on my phone and she knows she can always find me, because I always keep my phone, just in case. I want to be there for her and never give her a reason to doubt me and never have any doubts about her. Doubting your partner is too difficult for a marriage.


4. Be open about your friendships.

One of the reasons we trust each other is that we know everyone in each other's lives and we like to share our friends. This is a way to provide more comfort and make it easier to be together or to feel good when you are not. My wife is best friends with my ex, so when they are together, I know they are safe and there is so much to talk about.


5. Socialize together.

I know you do not like everyone that your partner likes, and vice versa, and maybe not one of your golf and the other does not. But as an example, I know several husbands who meet each other after a round and dine with their partners and the other players and their partners. It is a fun way to hold a party where you do not have to cook or clean up.


6. Flirt with your partner.

This builds confidence. If your partner knows that you find him or her desirable, he does not worry about loyalty or intent. I never let my wife forget that she is beautiful, desirable, and the happiest woman in the world - and she reminds me that I am the happiest man. Some people lose that favorite cry on their way, which is a shame, because flirting does so much for your connection.

Trust does not come alone. It must be earned, even if you have done nothing to break it. And remember, even things that are well built and have a solid foundation need occasional maintenance. You can not take love for granted. Ever.


6 Solid Tips to Save Your Marriage from Divorce for Women


When it comes to marriage, divorce is a word of four letters. If you are about to divorce, you may wonder what steps you can take to prevent your relationship from being resolved. The first thing you have to decide is that you take action. Then you can place these 6 tips to save your marriage from a divorce.


Stop being a victim

Your first instinct will probably be to ask yourself how your partner can do this to you. But trying to betray your husband to stay with you (or return if he is already left behind) will only serve to make you (and him!) More miserable. What you can do instead is follow the positive path. Think of all the good things that you take with you to your marriage and work on showing these qualities to your spouse. "Show" is always better than "tell" and will give your man more confidence in you.


Take out the trash

Your husband probably has pent-up feelings of anger and pain and this resentment may have led to a divorce. Both should make a list of things that have made you angry or bitter.

Go through your lists one by one and look for the misunderstandings that led to these feelings. Each of you will have to find your part in the situation to find misconceptions. Apologize for your mistakes and do not respond to what the other person has done to cause a problem.


Compromise

The biggest part of making a marriage is compromise. Both you and your partner must be prepared to make some accommodation for the other. If you are both willing to compromise, you should find a middle way that will both please you. A marriage counselor can help you during this process. If both partners in a marriage are not happy, it will be difficult to make the relationship work.


Take a break

Sometimes it will take away from your partner for a weekend or even a week or 10 days to help you collect your thoughts and emotions. If your relationship has been characterized by stress for some time, this can help you to re-evaluate where you are in the relationship and what you are willing to change.


Find something common

Finding common goals that you can share can be a useful step. These goals can be: who keeps working and who stays at home and looks at the children, or both work and the children are placed in a childcare center.


Change your appearance

Dealing with a threatening divorce can be stressful both physically and emotionally. You may become depressed and let your looks slip. But do not fall into this trap. Get a haircut or color, put on your make-up, lose weight or play fancy dress parties. This will help you change your self-esteem and change the way your partner sees you.

If despite your efforts you can not stop your divorce, you should consider arranging divorce. It is difficult to think about it, but if something happens to you before the divorce is complete and you have not made specific plans for your estate, everything you own will probably return to your future ex-spouse.

This is especially important if you have children from the relationship, because you want to make sure that the future of your children is safe. You should make a will if you do not have one, and call an executor, or change your existing will to name one, someone other than your partner. Only by doing this can you ensure that your legacy ends up where it is needed.


How can I save my marriage because it has become boring?
After spending years together, the honeymoon phase disappears, and that is completely normal. The problem that often arises is that couples do not make the necessary effort to ensure that their connection remains exciting, even if it is "mature". They do not have time for each other, they do not make each other feel special and they allow things to become monotonous, boring and unhappy. You are not married to find a roommate ...

If The Routine is the problem, saving a failing marriage will not be so complicated, because all you have to do is to bring back the things and activities that brought you joy and excitement. I will go into that later. Of course it is easier said than done, but with the right communication and perseverance nothing is impossible in love!

It is important to spend quality time together, so that you can cherish your bond.

How can I save my marriage because we have stitched each other?
When two people spend too much time together and lose sight of their own lives, the relationship becomes dangerously unbalanced and you can both be in a position to take steps to save your marriage. We sometimes forget the importance of having our own lives!

One of the most important things to do to keep a marriage healthy (and it is also one of the most neglected elements) is to make sure you never lose yourself. Your partner fell in love with you for the person you are, and you must ensure that you continue to focus on your passions and work to feel satisfied.

Neither of you wants to feel like a weight ... A partner has to stand next to you, not on your shoulders.

Moreover, it can not be together every second, helping to return the passion and excitement to your marriage. You can develop your social life and do things with your friends that make you feel happier. Being the best version of yourself considerably enriches your relationship. Remember that if you feel happier in other aspects of your life, it affects your mood and behavior and can facilitate easier exchanges with your partner.

Save a marriage, but our personalities collide!
You know, pride can be one of the most nasty things in a marriage. You are meant to be partners; no competitors. Are you wondering what to do to save your marriage because you can not agree with anything?

It is completely normal that you do not agree with each other. You are a person and you have your own opinion. The success of your relationship depends on the way you express your differences. It is more: "No, you are wrong, how can you even think something is so stupid?" Or, "I see what you're saying, but I do not totally agree - in my opinion ..."?

Sometimes I see people who are stubborn without good reason and they do not realize what a terrible effect it has on their marriage. That said, if the issue is so important, it should not be discarded; but discussed earlier in a serene and collected conversation. This is again where good communication comes into play. I will give you some tips on how to do that in the second part of this article!

Besides, it is also good to just agree to disagree, or to set aside the subject. If you find yourself always fighting about the same little things and you can never find an interface, and if the problem at hand is not bad, you can just let it go.

Disagree with your partner is no reason to panic or thoughts of "Can my marriage be saved?" Exchange simply has to be healthy, and by that I mean: calm, collected and respectful.

Save your marriage: is it really worth it?
Rescuing marriage is not a walk in the park and it is important that you understand this. You have to work on it every day and it will not be solved from one day to the next. If you decide to work on restoring your relationship, your partner must be on the same page. You will not get anywhere unless you are the only one doing the job. Both of you will have to investigate the cause of the problem and come up with solutions together and then implement these solutions in your daily life.

Sometimes you are not sure if you should try this, so you have to take some time to weigh the pros and cons of saving marriages. As I just said, it will not be easy, so if you are going to do it, you must do it wholeheartedly. Otherwise you will not continue because you are still hesitating. Here are some things to think about when you wonder if you should try to save your marriage.

What can I do to save my marriage? Consider this:
Maybe you are not 100% convinced that you want to be together, but at the same time you are not entirely sure whether you want to be separated from your partner ...

If you have children, it is especially important to think about the consequences of a divorce. Studies show that children who grow up with happy parents not only show significant signs of improved social skills, but also have more resilient immune systems. Your children see that you and your partner are unhappy and remembered, it serves as an example for them.

That said, two parents can be perfectly happy and a good example for their children, even if they are not together, as long as they respect each other.

If you are not entirely sure what you feel for your partner, you can imagine that they are intimate with another person. What do you feel? If you do not feel anything at all, you may be ready to move on. If, on the other hand, you feel a wave of emotions, then it is time to think about how to save a marriage.

Is it possible that you and your partner should be good friends? This happens more often than we realize and it is not the end of the world. If you really have to divorce, this is probably the easiest situation.

I also invite you to look at what is bothering you and take a step back to get some perspective. It is important to understand that the perfect person does not exist, the marriage is hard work and that all relationships face challenges. It is up to you to gauge the seriousness of the situation. Is the problem here that you do not share common interests with your partner, or that you feel disrespectful and unfulfilled?

Help me save my marriage, we do not all share the same interest.

If your partner does not share your love for certain activities such as surfing or booking, it is not so serious that your partner speaks to you in a destructive way. You should never be satisfied, but it is also very important to understand that two partners are two people ... Do not try to panic if you realize that you are not as equal as you thought and injure your brain with thoughts of "Can we save our marriage? It is ok." Relationships in relationships are healthy and help both people discover new things and keep an open mind.

Can you save your marriage: follow your instinct.

Last but not least, you have to rely on your feelings. You have to follow your instinct, because deep down you know whether this marriage is worth repairing. Some people stay with their husbands because they are afraid to be alone and forget that life is full of opportunities and opportunities.

If you think this might be the case for you, do not be afraid to face these feelings. Life existed for your partner and it will continue to exist without them!

Whatever the situation, do not make hasty decisions. If you're in the heat of the moment, or if you've just had a dirty fight, do not just talk about divorce. It is a huge undertaking and if you are going to do it, you should know for sure.

Saving a wedding depends on the problems ...
Well, I suppose I should say "a bad marriage must be saved." The truth is that most relationships can be stored and you can even get their ex back after a divorce, but some marriages require you to ask yourself a few important questions. If you are physically or mentally abused in your marriage, you have to ask yourself whether this can stop and why it has become so. Is your partner indulging in the situation or is it his character? In this kind of difficult situations, it is best to contact a professional, and we are here to help you.

If you wonder whether my marriage can be saved and you are not exposed to any violence, the answer depends on the extent of the problems. To be honest, it pretty much depends on what you want. If you really want this to work, do what you need and make your change. The only thing you need is a little guidance. But if your heart is simply no longer in it, and you are still going to try it, your effort will probably be half-hearted and therefore not nearly as effective.

Not known: this is a partnership, and if it improves, it must be a joint effort. You both want to save the marriage. You must both be active communicators, active listeners, and you must both make the effort to bring about positive change.

I know it's easier said than done, but as I said before, when love and motivation are there, everything is possible. (This is part of the reason why it's so important to have honest conversations about what you both feel and where you both want it to go ... And what you're willing to do about it!)
You must both show willingness to change and to go! Words are one thing ... Actions are another.

Save your marriage: the techniques for immediate improvement!
Talk to your partner about the strengths of your relationship; not just the weak points. I know you might wonder what a healthy relationship is, because it feels like it's been so long ago that you and your partner have been happy ... And I can tell you that a lot of it has to do with lifting your partner and creating an environment that ensures that you both want to spend more time together.

If you both feel bad about each other, why would you want to be in the neighborhood?

I understand that sometimes talking to your partner about what is bothering you, especially when it feels like it has become so messy, can seem really overwhelming. So write it down.

If you find that there are things you can not say, you can write a letter to your partner. It is an approach that is not aggressive (as long as you pay attention to your voice) and it is not going to put them in combat or flight mode because it does not happen live and face-to-face.

Can my marriage be saved with help?
Train yourself to see positive things, as well as the silver linings. For example, if you and your partner are confronted with marital problems, it means that you have the chance to overcome it, better understand each other and make your bond stronger than ever. Negative feelings are wake-up calls!

If you really get stuck and you're a marital crisis, do not be afraid to seek help. Sometimes people do not want to do this only because of pride, but do not forget that it is very common for people to experience problems in their marriage.

Can marriage be saved if I choose to trust?
Sometimes it helps to open you up to someone you trust or to someone trained in the field.

When approaching hazardous or important subjects, you must be careful at appropriate times. For example, if your partner is busy cooking dinner and helping your children to do their homework, there is no problem in the conversation because it is just not the right time. There are too many distractions and other things going on that the conversation runs the risk of being taken too short or bad.

Save My Wedding now With These 10 Expert Tips

There are many things you can do today if you are wondering how to save a marriage. I have compiled a list of 10, so start right away!

1. Use constructive criticism and pay attention to the way you speak to your partner. Say: "I love you", "Thank you", "I understand", "I am proud of you" "We do not spend time together, as before." Avoid phrasing such as; "You just never have time for me, do you?" Avoid starting your sentences with: "You always ..." "You never", or "You are a ..."

2. Practice mirroring. When your partner expresses a concern or misfortune about something, repeat what they say to them so they see that they are being heard. "So what you say is that ..."

3. Understand the importance of space in a relationship. Some people need it more than others, and some people think it is a bad sign if their partner regularly needs some time for himself. It is actually very healthy to have only time. This allows you to concentrate on your own projects and goals and on taking care of yourself. If you're together, it's even better because you have the chance to miss each other.

4. Do not forget to date. One of the most common things that separate a marriage is when the two partners do not make time for each other. They ignore their bond and do nothing to make each other feel special. There must always be time for the other person, even if it is normal to have your coffee in the morning for work!

5. Touch more. Many couples stop long before they separate. If things have become really bad, bring the touch back step by step. Move closer to each other on the couch and touch your partner's arm when you talk. When two people touch each other, a chemical is released. It is called oxytocin, also called 'the chemical compound'.

6. Make sure everything runs smoothly. Responsibilities must be in balance so that no resentment can be fostered. Speaking of resentment, make sure you are both open and communicative when something is wrong. Pent up feelings are poisonous!

7. Focus on recognizing your own mistakes and making improvements. If you try to change your partner, they become more defensive and more resistant. Both must be better to save a failed marriage.

8. Another thing you can do if you want to restore a damaged relationship is to reintroduce humor! I know it may sound a bit weird, but think about it. Does not it feel good to laugh with your partner and to see them laugh? This is the ideal time to work on creating a positive environment and de-escalating the situation.

9. Make a list of what you feel that needs to change and let your partner do the same. Share your lists and think up solutions together.

10. Take a moment every day to remember something that brought you joy with your partner. Remind yourself of the good times. It is human nature to focus on the negative, so do not let it eradicate all good things that you have shared and share.

By using the tools you need to save a marriage, you can make it stronger than ever!

I know how difficult it feels at the moment, but challenges like this are a disguised blessing. Whatever happens next, you are on your way to happiness. Or you are going to restore your marriage with your partner, otherwise you will be free to find something that you fulfill. It is difficult to be optimistic if you feel that you have reached a low point, but let me assure you that life works with ups and downs. If you feel so bad, the only way to do that is!

Take things step by step and do not lose your composure. It's a lot to deal with, but if you can keep your emotions under control and you want to focus on improving every day, things will improve quickly.

The Marriage | Marriage Life | Marriage Success or Fail Reason

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